24. You Say God Is First, Your Priorities May Say Otherwise

A priority list only means something if you actually live by it. What gets your time, what gets pushed to tomorrow, what gets the first fifteen minutes of your morning, that tells the real story, whether it matches what you'd say out loud or not. God first, then spouse and family, then work, then everything else, that's the order. The question isn't what you'd claim your priorities are. It's what they actually are.

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Transcript

Heat, Humidity, And Real Life

Jon 0:10

Welcome to the Uncommon Man podcast. We're your host. I'm John. I'm Devin. And how are you doing today, buddy? I'm wonderful, bud. What about you? Good. I'm good. Trying to trying to not die from the heat. Yeah, and you know, in a couple months, we're all gonna be shivering to death. We act surprised every single summer of how hot it is. But it's the same, it doesn't change. No, uh-uh. No, you still why is it so hot? The same reason it has been for the last thousands of years.

Devin 0:38

Like literally the other night, man, my mailbox is like 50 feet in front of my house. I go to my mailbox, walk around the corner of my yard, come in through the garage. Whenever I go upstairs, I have a tiny beat of sweat. And it's not because I'm fat and out of shape, okay? I've been working on that. It is purely because it is 2,000 humidity outside. Yeah.

Jon 1:02

And I'm like, this absolutely sucks. Not to be that that guy that it's the heat, it's the humidity, not the heat. But like, if it wasn't 95% humidity, it would be a lot more bearable.

Devin 1:14

It really is. And what's what's really funny is like my uh my buddy, so you know, I've been thinking about doing a uh like refinishing my floor in the garage at my house. And my my brother sent me this video of this guy that actually put LVP flooring in his basement. And uh I sent back, I said, Where's this dude from? He said, Arizona, and I said, bro, never send me this again. And he goes, What? And I said, in Arizona, they don't have humidity, it's just 95 degrees of freaking hot. Out here, it's 95 degrees with an added wet blanket of humidity. And I was like, You and I both know that would not work. Don't ever send me that again. There's some there's some floorings, there's some floorings that would that won't work like that. I mean maybe, but I'm not also doing the that'd be real expensive for a couple of years. One quote I got I asked a guy like, hey, how much to come in and resurface my garage? Five grand. That's a lot.

Jon 2:14

I was like, you have a good day, pal. All

Why Priorities Beat More Time

Jon 2:16

right. Well, today we are talking about priorities. Yeah, now and this actually sparked from a conversation I had with someone the other day. Because I like right not long after this conversation, I was like, Oh my gosh.

Devin 2:29

I think God just gave me a podcast episode. Yeah.

Jon 2:32

And I was like, We're doing it right now.

Devin 2:35

Which God does that, isn't that isn't that funny? Like you're over here, you're praying, like, God, what do you want us to talk about? Blah, blah, blah. And then God just puts you in the middle of a conversation.

Jon 2:44

Well, all we're really kind of kind of going to kind of do here is I just kind of made up a sample priority list. Yours might vary a little bit. It probably probably will. The first two won't, and we'll get to that, but they might vary a little bit. Now, why do we even need a priority list? Well, this I this this conversation I had the other day actually stemmed from a conversation of how do you how do you do some of the things that you do? Like, how do you have time to do some of this stuff? And my initial response was I don't. And then I thought about it for like five seconds. I was like, it's just it's just you just prioritize things. And I'm like, wait a minute. This this is something really important because I think a lot of people have some type of priority list, whether it be even just a mental list, they have some type of priority list, right? But they don't actually utilize it.

Devin 3:40

Sure.

Jon 3:41

So whether you are the type of person that has a ton of things to get done and have to make a list of your tasks for a given day. Some people do that, some people don't need to do that. I do that. And some it's it's not a bad idea. Like even if you have four things to do that day, and one of them is go to work and come home, right? Even if you have four things to do that day, I I do recommend it. It's not a bad idea, even if it's just to practice this. But if you're when you're making your list, utilize your priority list. When you're making your task list, utilize your priority list. Because if you have a list of priorities, even if it is on a piece of paper and the only time you read it was when you wrote it, it's doing you no good whatsoever.

Devin 4:30

Yeah, I leave work every day. Uh one of the last things I spend the last 10 minutes of my workday doing is mapping out what the next day is going to look like. Right. That way, whenever I go in, I have a plan. I'm not just going in going, well, I think I'm gonna do this and then I'm gonna do that. There has to be a plan. If there's not, then you will find the excuse of, well, I just didn't have any time. Something a great mentor told me one time in this country, in the great United States of America, to a degree, we do what we want. Whenever I say that, what I'm talking about is if somebody says, Well, I didn't have time, what they're essentially telling you it wasn't a high priority. And in some cases, that's okay. In some cases, that's not.

Jon 5:14

Yeah.

Devin 5:15

Right? If your boss turns around and gives you this massive project to do, and you just say, Well, I just I didn't have time to do it. And your boss says, But that was gonna make this company and us and your job security and blah, blah, blah millions of dollars. Well, that might have changed the degree about it. Yeah, that might have changed it where it falls on the priority list. At the end of the day, we do what we want. So uh for me, I've always been the type of person that if somebody says I didn't have time to it to to get to it, internally, I may not voice this all the time, but internally I'm sitting there going, okay, so it wasn't a high enough priority for you.

Jon 5:53

Yeah, I mean, which a lot of times that's fine. When sometimes I will quite literally respond to people asking me to do things like, yeah, I'll I'll add it to the list. So they're not expecting me to get to it right away because I'm not going to. That's why I you know what I mean. Right. Like some things are just more important than whatever it is you're talking about right now.

Devin 6:12

I also think it's it's important to say to or to ask that person if somebody asks you to do something. Right. Hey, how important is this? How fast do we need this done? Is this like 911 emergency, which by the way, you needing dinner tomorrow night or dinner plans tomorrow night is not a 911 emergency. Okay. Yeah. But if it's um, hey, somebody, you know, somebody broke into my house and um it didn't end so well for them and we need to go hot a body, then like okay, then that's a different you see what I'm saying? Yeah, so it's it is perfectly okay if somebody asks you to do something to go, okay, I can add it to the list.

Jon 6:54

How much of a priority is that? That's just effective communication. Yeah. All

God First As A Daily Practice

Jon 7:00

right. So first and foremost, on I encourage you to actually create a priority list. Okay. First and foremost, at the top of your priority list is God. That's right. Always. Any other way it's not gonna fit. Matthew 6, 33. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for nope. Wrong verse. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day, and it is its own trouble. That was verse 34. Because why not? So God has to come first. Serving God, spending time with the Lord, reading your Bible, praying, is reading your Bibles how one way God speaks back to you. So it it has to come first above all else, all the time.

Devin 8:01

Yeah, I mean, it's it's it's like spending, like I said, it's like putting a square peg in around hole. It's just not going to fit. If God is not number one in your life, and you're wondering why everything is going wrong, and you're wondering what thing it's a solid place to start is to look at it and go, okay, well, how have I dedicated this time to the Lord? One of the first things I ask somebody whenever they say they come to me and they say, Well, I just don't feel God, I I don't feel God in my life. I don't I don't see him at work, I don't I don't hear him, I'm not hearing the Lord. My very first question, how much time have you spent in scripture? Oh, well, well, I think uh no, mm-mm. Because if you're not starting there, you're wasting your time.

Jon 8:49

Okay, absolutely. And that goes into what we said a little last week or the week before. Like if you're putting things in front of even if it is going to church, if you're putting things in front of that, then that's it goes into the same thing. Like you you have you need to prioritize that. And it's not again, just it is not the church building that we're prioritizing. We're not prioritizing going to a building, we're prioritizing spending time with the Lord, spending yes, being in community with people and hearing God's word. Like that's that needs to be pre prioritized.

Devin 9:30

Martin Luther famously said it this way whenever he approached a heavy workload, I have so much to do that I shall spend the first three hours in prayer. Because Martin Luther understood if I'm not giving God the very first thing, that's why he gets the first bit of my paycheck. The problem is the common man he gets what's left over. Right. That's why God gets the first at least 15 to 30 minutes of my day. Sometimes it's longer. And the reason he's getting that. Now, am I perfect with in that? No, absolutely not. No, man. My daughter came in there, jumped in the bed at 6 30 this morning. Well, all she wanted was daddy snuggles. Well, guess who should guess who got daddy snuggles? Okay. So, like the thing about it is there's going to be days and times where maybe something gets shifted here to there. I'm not gonna shove my three-year-old off and say, no, I have to go spend time with the Lord now. But I am going to still make that a priority because before I did anything, I spent some time in prayer.

Jon 10:34

Well, on that note, there's absolutely no problem with telling your kids to chill, like I'm doing this right now. I heard someone, I don't remember who it was, they have there's this specific chair that they sit in uh when they're um reading their Bible, studying something, or when they're like in the mornings, whatever the case was, they his kids know when he's there in that room, in that chair, to leave him alone, because that's what he's doing. So you're also at the same time, if you did be like, hold on a few minutes, then you're also teaching your kids that that needs to be a priority.

Family Order And Marriage First

Jon 11:18

And number two on our example priority list is family. Gotta be. Now, I said family, and you can you can break down your priority list however you want to. You could put God, wife, kids if you want to, or you could put god family and then underneath family further priority. Yeah, I mean, not everybody has a wife and kids, right? Right, right. But everybody's got family. If you are married and you have kids, well, that's not true either.

Devin 11:52

Yeah, I guess so.

Jon 11:54

Anyways, if you are married and you have kids, the the priority has to be your wife, then your kids.

Devin 12:02

I've said it before on this podcast.

Jon 12:03

Well, I'll say spouse. Because you could be a woman, I guess, but yeah, probably not.

Devin 12:07

I've said it before on this podcast, and I've been quoted numerous times of saying this. When I come downstairs from work, because as most of you know, I work from home uh just about every day. Whenever I come in the door where I come downstairs from my office, my wife gets the first kiss. My daughter is three, she will go stand behind her mama whenever I come downstairs because she knows mama's a priority, mama gets the first kiss, and my goal in in showing her that and doing that for her is so that one day she will know a real man will treat her and love her by honoring her first before anything else. Right. So even at the age of three, my daughter knows you don't get the first kiss, baby girl. Daddy loves you more than anything in this world, but you don't get the first kiss. That's reserved for mama.

Jon 13:01

So first wife, spouse, if you're a woman, listen to this, wife or husband first, and then kids. Now I thought as I was I after the conversation I had the other day, I redid my own priority

Self-Care That Actually Serves Others

Jon 13:18

list. And I was I was as I was thinking through this, um I decided to put something like self-care up under family. And there's a lot of thought that went into this, and I don't mean self-care like going to the spa or you know what, today I'm just gonna I'm just gonna rest. I'm just I know sometimes you have those days.

Devin 13:40

Self-care is not also you scrolling in the bed on Instagram all day.

Jon 13:44

Sometimes you have those days where you do, you do just like go take a nap. It's okay. Like sometimes you have this. Don't make a habit out of it, like don't be lazy, but that's not what I'm talking about, regardless. Right. What I'm talking about with self-care is actually trying to improve yourself, like taking care of yourself by improving yourself somehow. Like if you're not doing whatever you can to be the best version of yourself that you can be, you can't take care of your family. And as uh First Timothy 5 8 tells us, it's talking about providing from your fam for your family, but it I think it also applies like to taking care of them in other ways other than with material things, right?

Devin 14:31

You're not gonna be able to take those material things with you anyways, one day. I it will never be said about me that Devin had the nicest stuff.

Jon 14:40

Material material things, I mean like food on the table.

Devin 14:43

Realistically even still, okay, even still, it'll never be said Devin ate gourmet food every day. It'll never be said that uh he he fed his family nothing but the best. What it will be said is that he loved his family above everything else. True. Besides the savior. So, regardless of what kind of materialistic things it's looking like for you, you can't take any of that with you. Yes, taking care of yourself is extremely important. You absolutely I heck I did it Sunday, man. You absolutely need those things. A car is no good without gas. You can go out and go buy you a Lamborghini for all I care. You don't put the right gas, or you don't put gas in it, guess what? You got a pretty yard on them, that's about it. So yeah, you gotta take care of yourself, man.

Jon 15:32

So the and if you don't have something on your task list, your list of things you have to do that pertains to you taking care of yourself in some way, whether it's working out, reading a specific book, um, studying for I don't know, maybe you're in college, studying for your exams, whatever, whatever it is, if there's not something on there, then there should be. Like throughout the if if it is if it is working out throughout the week, one whatever days you choose, that needs to be on there. And it has it has to be pretty high on that list, because without that, you're not going to be able to do a a lot of things in the long run. If if you're really unhealthy in the long run, you're not gonna be able to do anything. Do you want to know why I started working out?

Devin 16:32

Uh like when we started this, if you remember, I was at like 290 and I'm down to 277 now. Good job. Um, the reason why is I'm I uh at the time I was 35, I'm 36 now. Um I I will never forget going out there and going to play with my little girl. She wanted to do more. More, more, more. I got out of breath. I got tired. I just said I'm in my mid-30s. This is not okay.

Jon 17:03

I'm throwing a football with my great-grandkids when I'm 80. I can't wait. It's gonna happen. Unless I get like Alzheimer's or something, not much I can do about that. But if you write yours however you want to. This is how I chose to do mine. I put it underneath family because without that, I can't prioritize that above family, but I don't think it's necessarily less important because if you're not healthy, if you're it mentally, physically, whatever, emotionally, if you are not healthy, then it it you you can't take care of that.

Devin 17:39

That's right.

Jon 17:40

All right.

Work As Provision And Calling

Jon 17:41

Number three on our priority list.

Devin 17:43

Work.

Jon 17:44

Work.

Devin 17:45

All I do is work, work, work, work, work.

Jon 17:47

I'm sorry. Now, this this is mostly referring to your nine to five.

Devin 17:55

Some people I know don't necessarily have a nine to five, but uh, yeah, but I mean, still it when we're talking about work, we're talking about what you do to provide income for your family.

Jon 18:08

The thing that you do to put food on the table.

Devin 18:10

That's right. And if you don't do anything, um I got nothing there as far as as far as that goes. But there are because there are things I would encourage you then at that point, what can I do? What can I do to help put more food on the table? What can I do? You were not put here to lay on the couch and waste your life away, man.

Jon 18:32

Now, I'll say this it again. This is more geared towards men. Yep. If you're a female listening to this, and your job is to be a stay-at-home mom, that's that's my wife's a state. That's word mom. That's not I'm not negating that. That but your priority list might look a little different. So I maybe you don't even need to put work on there.

Devin 18:56

I have done depending on your region, I said, what should if you if you I put this into my AI software, okay? If you're a if you're a mom, a stay-at-home mom, what would giving all the things that a stay-at-home mom does, what would you say a standard stay-at-home mom should be paid in an annual salary?

Jon 19:21

What would you say, John? This is this has been done like hundreds of times. I'm pretty sure it's like 200 grand or something like that.

Devin 19:28

Yeah, it was close to it. It depending on where you live. I think here in Alabama where we are, it was something about like 160 or something like that. Given everything that they do, I tell my wife every day. Well, not every day, I tell my wife all the time, uh, her job is ten times harder than mine.

Hobbies Without Losing Your Home

Jon 19:44

For example, here, I put uh side hustles and hobbies. Now, I mean, generally speaking, if you have some sort of side hustle that you I don't know, minds mine's photography, right? Or videography, that sort of thing.

Devin 19:59

Mine's golf.

Jon 20:00

That would be a hobby, wouldn't it?

Devin 20:02

Oh, is that is that okay. Oh, sorry.

Jon 20:04

Yeah, sorry. Like sometimes I make a little bit of money off this. Maybe it's a hobby that kind of pays for itself, right?

Devin 20:10

Yeah, sometimes it can be. Sometimes hobbies can do that. Um, I don't I I mean, a lot of my side hustle stuff is like ministry-related work. So stuff for pastors, teachers, uh, whatever. Like um, it does fall pretty far down the priority list for me. Um, but I I think that for a lot of us, we we actually so four and five side hustles and hobbies can can be synonymous in some ways, but they are different, right? Uh, sometimes hobbies do pay for the stuff. Some people don't even have side hustles.

Jon 20:49

And you don't have to have one, but some people do. So I added it.

Devin 20:52

Yeah.

Jon 20:52

Now there's not really too much to expound on that. We all know what hobbies are.

Devin 20:58

Things you enjoy, things that help you kind of unplug. Um, for me, I I've been told I have very expensive hobbies. Um so two of my primary hobbies are uh golf and boating. And I'm told that uh both of those are extremely expensive.

Jon 21:14

So a lot of hobbies, a lot of hobbies are real expensive. There's there's a ton out there that's right that are crazy. You ever done anything with cars, man?

Devin 21:22

Good lord life. I got a friend of mine that he he actually rebuilt a 19 uh 97 or 96 Mustangs, something like that, like from the ground up, and that was his that was his hobby. The thing was, and I remember pointing this out to him, I said, dude, you spend more time tinkering with this car than you do with your wife. There's a problem there, bro.

Jon 21:45

Yeah.

Devin 21:46

It's it if it's a hobby, if it's golf, uh if I spend more time swinging golf clubs than I do hanging out with my wife, uh, I gotta I got a really big problem.

Jon 21:56

If you if you prioritize on a Saturday Football above all else. Just don't don't ever try to have a conversation with me because we're not going to get along.

Devin 22:07

Shots fired. Like I can't brass it.

Jon 22:10

I can't eat like there's nothing wrong with sitting there watching football. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. But when you go prioritizing it, like I know a lot of people do, you go prioritizing it above your family or things that your wife asked you to do like four weeks ago, that's a problem. Sure. That's a real problem.

Devin 22:31

I th I think it's also important to notate this here. Whenever it I I I kind of experienced this this last weekend. Uh it was supposed to be a very busy weekend for me. Um, but Friday, uh, or I'm sorry, Thursday night, I was literally uh, I guess, complaining to my wife um that I had not had any time off in like three weeks, that every single day had been packed with something. I was like, man, just love a day. There's just nothing to do. Like that would be freaking awesome right now. Friday, uh, I had some things go wrong with the boat trailer that completely canceled all of Saturday's plans. Then Sunday's plans got altered because they were they involved the boat. And then um Sunday afternoon, so I'm sorry, so let me back up. So because Saturday got altered, guess what that allowed me to do? Knock out some of the projects that I'd been neglecting. Well, knock out some of the things that my wife had asked me to do. We've just moved, we've still got boxes everywhere. The reason we still have boxes everywhere is because your boy has not prioritized like he should have. I'm on, I'm on that way. Everybody can know I'm and you I don't sit here on this podcast and say I'm perfect, and here's why and here's where you need to do. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've been neglecting that those things. So yeah, Saturday it was um it was honeydo list day. And you know what? I'm good with that.

Assign Every Task A Priority Number

Jon 24:04

Let's take the our to-do list here and out beside every single one of them, write down which which one of our priorities it falls next to. Which one of these so golf. So hobbies being number five, golf, five, spending time with your family. Obviously, that's a two. Now, here's one helping a family member uh with whatever it is, move boxes from a storage unit, whatever. Now, by family member here, I mean like extended family. Yes, that falls under family. So I'll say two with a caveat. If they come before if you put them before your wife and your kids, then there's kind of a problem there. And I also if you are married, going into this next one here, some random projects that your wife asked you to do. Yes, it would be two, but it also kind of depends on what it is, and you can have a conversation with your wife on how important this thing is. That's just a simple conversation. Now, if it's hey, can you sweep the floor and take out the trash for me real quick? Like, go sweep the floor and take out the trash. Shut up. But if she asks you to build a deck, you know what I mean? There there's there's a there's a process. There's a process there. The funds have to be in place, we have to get all the materials, so on and so forth. So that that can just simply be a conversation you have with your wife. Where does this fall on the priority list? Yeah, there's a you and your wife are one. There's no there's no reason both of your priority lists can't be combined to some extent.

Devin 25:48

Dude, we literally have a a joint shared note on our phones that is all things we want done to the new house. And I'm like, first off, I need to be a millionaire. Um, but second of all, I like we first thing we did, we prioritized it. What's it what's the order here? And it wasn't just my stuff that went at the top, it was hers, it was ours. It's things that we want to do.

Reevaluate The List And Wrap Up

Devin 26:14

You you're I think this is an important distinction to make about the priority list. It will change. So your list matters. What's yours look like? You can uh drop it in the comments, you can send it over. Uh but identify what your list is gonna look like, and then ultimately decide for yourself where something needs to fall on the priority list. When you say yes to something or yes to someone, what number does that get on the priority list? Right.

Jon 26:50

Exactly. If you're not utilizing the list, it does you no good whatsoever.

Devin 26:53

Yeah.

Jon 26:54

So or if you if you want to say yes to something and it doesn't even have a number on your priority list, before you say yes, figure out where it would go and figure out if it's something you do need to say yes to. You should, you should take as many opportunities as you can. There's nothing wrong with saying yes. It that might be a door that got opened for you.

Devin 27:13

And don't be afraid to reevaluate the list.

Jon 27:17

Thanks for listening. Remember to like, share, and subscribe. If you know someone who would enjoy this, please pass it along. You can follow us on Instagram at uncommon.man or reach out at theuncommonman.podcast at gmail.com. Keep pursuing excellence, and above all, keep pursuing excellence.