The Uncommon Man
We’re a community of men pursuing excellence together — growing into strong, Godly leaders who make a lasting impact in our homes and communities. Through real conversations, encouragement, and accountability, we’re learning to walk with Christ and lead with purpose.
The Uncommon Man
23. 7 Things That Keep Men From Really Following Jesus
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Some men walk away from the faith. Some never really arrive. Some sit in church every week and never actually follow Jesus. Seven reasons why, and every man thinks he's the exception. Knowing about Jesus isn't the same as following Him. The question isn't whether you show up. It's whether you've actually come.
Banter And The Hiatus Update
DevinWelcome to the Uncommon Man podcast. We're your host. I'm Devin Jeffries, alongside a very good friend of mine, Mr. John Pierce. John, how's it going today, bud? Better than I deserve. I agree with that. Can I tell everybody what I just told you off mic right before we hit record? Depends on what you're talking about. I guess go for it. I said that your sense of humor sucks. And I don't think I'm wrong.
JonI mean, I think you're wrong. I think my sense of humor is very uh misunderstood, except for a very select. Select small percentage of people in the United States. Exactly. Very, very dark and graveyard-like.
unknownJesus.
DevinY'all pray for John. He needs it. Um anywho.
JonSo I mean, yeah, but not for that.
DevinWell, so we took our hiatus because uh because we both moved. And then uh we recorded an episode last week uh talking about taking up your cross. If you didn't listen, go back one episode. You can do it. And uh listen to that one, give it a give it a like and a thumbs up, comment whatever you think on it, unless your comment's negative, in which case leave it anyway. Leave it anyways. I can't guarantee that we will. Um, but at any rate, one of the things that we talked about last week, I I wanted to piggyback this week uh when we when we continue that uh from that image of taking up your cross daily, as Luke said. And one of the biggest problems I think that we see in the church today uh is is really it's becoming an epidemic. It's it's becoming something that I think um is detrimental to the men of our society, and it's men walking away from the faith. Yeah. For whatever reason that may be. And here's the bigger problem. Every single one of them think that they're right in it.
JonRight. I mean, nine times out of ten, people think that whatever they do or think is correct. Um, if they don't think it's correct, then they're well probably looking in the right places, trying to find the right answers while they're not correct. Anyway, the but to to add to what you just said, people that walk away from the faith, people that maybe were have never really been in the faith to begin with, maybe they're sort of maybe they're even sort of agnostic. And they're like, I don't know, but there's also people out there, there's people out there that say, I know there's a God, I know that Jesus died on the cross, I believe that, but I have no desire to go to church, I have no desire to read a Bible, pray, anything. Yeah. Um, and also there's people that do go to church, and that's kind of it. They just go through the motions.
DevinYeah, and I think reality is most men don't leave the faith uh because of one bad sermon or one bad experience. Right. I I think it they leave because something in their heart's changed.
JonCorrect. There's a guy I am blanking on his name right now, but he uh he's a social media influencer type person now, but he's at a lot of big businesses. Uh I remember all these ads for school, remember those? That guy. I cannot cannot think of his name right now. Yeah, I don't know. He used to be a very devout Christian, and I listened to I I want to I need to find the whole episode and listen to it, but I listened to a piece of a podcast that he was in the other day and where he was kind of talking about why he didn't go to church anymore or believe, or and it was a lot of this this type of I would love to talk about it.
DevinHonest to God, I would love to have him on this and just interview him and just ask him.
JonGood luck with that.
DevinBut I mean, sure, but it what I would and honestly, all I would do was it would just simply be to challenge it.
JonYeah, he straight up, he straight up said, like if if Jesus was stood right in front of him and said, Hey, I'm God, like I created all of this, he'd be like, Yep, gotcha. Let's let's do this. Yeah. But I don't know. It his I don't know exactly what his his specific story is, but it is, I think it's more common probably than we think. And um actually that came to mind just now. I'd forgotten about it.
DevinBut see, they leave because something in their heart changed long before their attendance changed. I would argue with that man right there that and I hate the I I I shouldn't say hate. I I'm not a big fan of social media influencers, okay. But like I will say, I I think something in their heart changed.
JonHis defense, he just pushes his businesses on social media all of us. But anyway, anyway, it doesn't matter. He um yeah, absolutely. I again I don't know what his story is. His heart changed, right? His something in his heart changed. Mm-hmm.
DevinYeah.
The Quiet Drift Behind Leaving
DevinUh what I want to do uh throughout this episode is I'm gonna give you guys seven reasons. And if it's not you and you haven't walked away from the faith or the church, you know somebody that has. And it's generally going to be, I say generally because everybody's experience is unique for themselves, uh, but it's generally going to fall under one of these seven categories. Number
Convenience Versus The Cost Of Jesus
Devinone point men quit when following Jesus stops being convenient.
JonIt's kind of falls into comfort a little bit there.
DevinYeah, but as we said on last week's episode, Jesus literally never hear here, concealed or hid. If I could talk today, that'd be great. Um, Jesus never hid or concealed the cost.
JonYeah, no, I like it's literally in three gospels.
DevinYeah, exactly. Same thing in three gospels again. Last week's episode, uh, Luke 923. If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross. What daily and follow me, and follow me. The problem is men quit following when it's no longer convenient for them, it's no longer uh fits their schedule. Um I I I think many men love Jesus until following him costs them a multitude of different things.
JonYeah. Like I said a second ago, comfort like it becomes a little uncomfortable. I think time is another. You know, um I won't I won't go off on a tangent here too much about worshiping, but people worship in different ways. Like you you you go to church and you worship however you want to. I'm not I'm I'm not I'm not gonna go off on that, but I remember so I I grew up Southern Baptist, like back row Baptist. My dad was a pastor, so I sat on the front row a lot. But regardless, regardless, the explains like so much. You you you stand there with the hymn in your hands, right? Oh boy. You don't you don't stand there with your hands raised, praising Jesus. Wave them in the air, like they're too scary.
unknownI'm sorry.
JonAre you done? I'm done. All right, thank you. Um the the first time I experienced a a worship service outside of page 497 in the hymn book, it was kind of uncomfortable.
DevinHis eyes on the sparrow.
unknownOh my god.
JonAre you done? That's a fringe reference. Great. Are you done? I'm done. Thank you. It was kind of uncomfortable. Sure. So even even things like that can people people people want to stay in their comfort zone. And they're like, no, I don't. I think I'll I think I'll just sit down.
DevinAnd I think a lot of people uh truthfully it became a that was a checklist item for for like that long time ago. I think uh, and I think to a degree today it still is, but church is a checklist item. Did my thing on Sunday, check going through the motions. We're good. Yep. But many men stopped loving uh or stop following Jesus when it cost them their time because men value their time. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Um their money. I think that's another one. I in fact, I remember I had somebody, uh I was in high school, I was inviting my friend to come to church, and uh he whenever he came, people uh they it came time for the um uh the offering. And I will never forget his face because as soon as he saw men pulling out their wallets and women grabbing their purses, his jaw just hit the floor, and that man bolted, and he stood outside the church and waited for me to come on out whenever the the service was over. Uh, thankfully, um, they did this at the end instead of the beginning. And somewhat how our church cultivate does that. And um, so I I went outside, the pastor says, Amen. I I walk right outside, and this guy looks me dead in the face and he goes, Let me get this straight. I'm I'm willing to follow the Lord and all like I like I like all that that I heard, but I gotta pay for it. This man thought he actually had to pay to go to church. By the way, the guy is still a believer in Jesus. He's married for over 10 years to this day, and he has three incredible kids.
JonHopefully. Uh and he's not too long after that, there's a sermon on tithing.
DevinYeah, well, I don't know. You know, pastors back in the day, they used to love to spend months on tithing and why you needed to give to the church. But this man really thought that he had to pay um to go to church. You don't um we can do if you want us to do an episode on tithing, we can, but it's not it's not paying uh to go to church, it's giving back to God what is already his. Um, this is the big one for for why I think people love him until it costs them their reputation.
JonYeah, especially if you've already lived um a lot of people have uh a bit of a worldly life. Can you have certain relationships that you don't want to that you're that you're not willing to to to lose yet? I mean, there are people you shouldn't be friends with to begin with, probably, but sure that it can damage your reputation with those people because they think that you should be the way you've always been.
DevinRight. And and rather than facing who you are today and accepting that things can't people can and do change. Right. And, you know, I guess I saw a reel earlier today where a girl showed her life growing up in her 20s, and it was like, you know, her partying with her girlfriends and drinking and doing drugs and uh dressing provocatively and doing all these things, right? And it was lost, lost, lost. Every single picture just said the word lost. And then that it kind of like cameoed over into the picture of her getting baptized and giving her life to the Lord and uh becoming becoming somebody who is now uh a successful woman with with a husband and kids and all these things found in Jesus' name. And she put a comment at the bottom and she said, Some of y'all still don't believe me. And the reality is that's okay. My sister, uh Danielle Doss, said it to me this way: true freedom is found in allowing other people to think things that are not true about you, and that being okay. Because the reality, people are gonna think whatever they want to think, but whatever it costs, I think for some men, because I've seen some men do this, I've seen the leaders and captains of sports teams find Jesus, accept him into their heart on Wednesday night, Thursday morning, it was right back to the same old thing, right? But the real the problem was when they realized what they were going to be giving up, they became the rich young ruler. Yeah, they realized that uh oh, I was always known as the class clown, the goofball, somebody who was disrespectful, somebody who didn't have a respect for authority, somebody who did drugs, somebody who chased skirts, somebody who drank all the time, somebody who could put away more beer than any man ever should. And when they realize that they're gonna lose those friends, I think I think that that that begins to hurt. Um so their reputation, their relationships, uh, and then it's entertainment. They they don't get to have the they feel like they don't get to have the fun life anymore. I've been following the Lord 20 years of my life. I have had a lot of fun following the Lord.
JonThe fun life you mean they you mean certain sex, jokes, partying, things like that. Yeah, certain concerts you probably shouldn't go to.
DevinUm Man, listen, last year or two years ago, I went to see Creed, and I'm not ashamed. That was an awesome concert.
JonWell, yeah, Creed's awesome. I I mean we agree on that. There's stuff that yeah, there's there's stuff out there you shouldn't sure, yeah. Um, but things like that.
DevinChurch is often I I put this in here, church is often the first commitment sacrificed, but the bigger pro the biggest issue here is not the church, it's the person. Church gets sacrificed and pushed to the side for so many different things, and we blame it all on other on things other than, or we blame it all on the church when in reality it's a mix up of priorities. Again, a previous episode we've we've gone over uh their church, their their commitment is not I'm sorry, their their issue is not with the church, their issue is their lordship. They have absolutely surrendered their life to other things.
JonIdolatry is what that's called. Yeah.
DevinUh reason number two.
JonI don't want to read it.
DevinI don't want to say it. I tried. I tried. John hates the following uh phrase. Uh
When Feelings Replace Faithfulness
Devinmen quit because they don't feel it. John saw that.
JonFirst of all, we're quitting. Second of all, we're quitting because we don't feel like it. Like, oh my god. I just make my insides crawl.
DevinYou saw this morning. You just looked at me like, really? And I was like, yeah, we're saying it. So that's why I tried to get you to say it, and you didn't fall for it, and I'm upset. Anyways, uh here's the the thing, guys. It church is not about your feelings. I'm sorry. It's not. You can still believe all the right things while your affection for Christ will grow cold.
JonPretty much nothing is about your feelings. No, exactly. Literally nothing.
DevinYou're stepping all over it, John. Sorry. All right. You can still believe all the right things while your affection for Christ grows cold. Okay. I would argue this is when you need to be in the church the most. This is when you need to be around your people the most. Here's what I've noticed because of the incredible church that we go to, when I have to miss a Sunday, I have audibly said the words to my wife, I missed my people.
JonMm-hmm. Same.
DevinLike it's it's a comforting feeling knowing that every single Sunday, whenever I walk in to serve, I'm gonna serve alongside John Pierce.
JonNow, I mean, I'm gonna serve along. Technically, I haven't told my wife that because I don't think I've missed a Sunday since we've been married.
DevinYou've been married for like two months, bro.
JonYeah, okay. I know that. I know that, you know that everybody listening to this knows that. All right, that's not the point. But I feel I feel the same way when I've missed Sundays in the past. Yeah. When I traveled a lot, like after I started going to cold stuff and I traveled a lot, I was like, this sucks. Yeah.
DevinThis sucks you don't get to see your people. You feel you feel weird. And here's the thing, man, that's how you know that you're in the right church.
JonYeah.
DevinWhen you miss your people. Um attendance declines after devotion. Well, hold on.
JonCould back up to that just a second. Uh-huh. It's not if you currently go to church and you're like, well, I don't have my people, maybe you need to find somewhere else to go to church. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I'm not going down that road. But yeah. But if you're also not actively looking, trying to develop relationships, then that the problem's not the church. That's the problem.
DevinYeah, the problem's not the church, brother. Like at some point you got to take a deep dive in the mirror.
JonYeah, I would start there, actually. Take it to start start there.
DevinIs there something because because like like for example, I had lunch today with a guy who who said, Yeah, no, uh, you know, I I guess the whole reason he told me he actually actually said these words. My my ears kind of perked up whenever he said it. He said, I wanted to meet and have lunch with you today because of the community. He was like, I just I just want the community. And the reality is, I think that's what a lot of people, not just men, are looking for. They just want the community. But here's the problem your devotion is not to your devotion is to the wrong thing. If you're leaving a church because you don't have community, I would argue there's a deeper spiritual issue. I would also argue you need to take a deeper dive into the mirror and figure out what why do I not have community? How many small groups have you been to? How many times have you said I don't feel like going to small groups? Right. You know what I'm saying? How many times have you said because and he even asked me, he's he said, Are you going to that small group on Sunday nights? And I was like, Yeah. And he said, Yeah, we were gonna go, but you know, we just kind of talked ourselves out of it because we were like, blah, blah. And they listed all these reasons. And I'm going, that's why you don't have community. You don't have community because you're talking yourself out of going.
Jon100%.
DevinNobody accidentally quits the church, they just simply drift. And so that's the problem is they they will leave that church and then uh oh well, I wasn't feeling it there. But I'm not, I haven't been I went to one church last month.
JonWell, more importantly, the the same thing happens where they drift away from faith entirely.
DevinYeah. And guess what? That here's what here's what those men need to understand.
JonOr or are not drifting towards faith for whatever reason to begin with.
DevinBut here's what they need to understand. That's exactly what the enemy wanted. Isolation, baby. That's that's exactly what he wanted. He wanted to get them away, make them feel like they don't have community, and then walk away from the faith.
JonHe's really good at isolating you too.
DevinAnd whenever, and whenever right, it's one of his oldest strategies is let me pull them away until they no longer go.
JonYeah.
DevinAnd that I think is it if if you know I were to find somebody that like like like the guy that you talked about earlier, the social media influencer, I would just simply tell him one thing. If if we were able to get him on this podcast, I would tell him one thing. Do you realize you let the enemy win? Because he did exactly what he wanted you to do.
JonYeah.
DevinOr I'm sorry, you did exactly what he wanted you to do.
JonThe so without really giving specifics here, there was a couple months at the beginning of this year that so one thing I love about being able to go to church and the fact that we have multiple services is I can attend one of them and the other ones, I can find people and talk to them and have conversations and just like our church has three.
DevinI'm there for all three.
JonHaven't seen you in seven whole days. Like, what's going on, dude? I haven't talked to you. Like, how's how's things going? I I love doing that. Yeah, I'll walk around my cup of coffee and just talk to people. You did, which is a weird thing for me because I'm fairly introverted, but regardless, the first couple months of this year, I wasn't able to do that. Like I went to church, but like barely because I had to leave for other reasons at a certain time at every Sunday. That even though I was still pursuing these things, I felt isolated to some extent far more than I was before.
DevinAnd it sucked. And it would have been very, very easy for when all that stuff was finished, it would have been extremely easy for you to just walk away entirely.
JonI mean, yeah.
DevinYou see what I'm saying? Yeah, and and I think that kind of leads actually into the next point. Um,
Isolation And The Enemy’s Strategy
Devinmen quit because sin wants isolation. Yeah, we kind of just talk all over that. Right, but but I and I said this earlier, one of Satan's oldest strategies is to separate and hide to convince the man that he doesn't belong.
JonAnd you know, I've heard I've heard it too. The if the devil can't make you bad, it'll make you busy. Mm-hmm. Well, part of what being really, really busy does is it isolates you from people.
DevinYeah. That was the reason everybody struggled so bad in 2020 during the pandemic. Isolation, man. Ask me how I know. Yeah. Exactly. I don't want to know. Hebrews 10, what I do want to do is read you Hebrews chapter 10, verse 24 through 25. It says this, and let us consider how we may spur one another on toward the love and good deeds. Not giving up meeting together. He's talking about church. As some are in the habit of doing. Call out. But encouraging one another. And all the more you'll see the day approaching.
JonWell, I think it's talking Yeah, I think it's talking about church. But I think it's talking about more than just church. It means Right.
DevinBut here's the thing. And it literally says it doesn't say attend church. It says not neglecting to meet or do not give up meeting together.
JonRight. And I think that's what we refer to as not doing life alone.
DevinYeah. Why? Because isolation is dangerous.
JonRight.
DevinThink about it this way: a lion does not attack the herd. It attacks the one who wandered. It attacks the typically the slowest. Or one that's by itself. If it's by itself, it's because the herd typically abandoned it. It's the slowest, it's the weakest. The enemy's not going to go after somebody he's not scared of.
unknownYeah.
DevinHe's got a playbook, man. Yeah. He's got a strategy. He literally knows how to beat you.
JonWhich is sort of it's sort of it's like it's like playing a game and they uh they they already have your playbook that you don't have theirs.
DevinYeah, it's like it's not fair. It's like, how did you know I was gonna spawn there? Well because I know the game. I know how to beat you. You know? Reason
The Weight Of Secret Sin
Devinnumber four, uh, men quit because they're living two lives.
JonOh, you're talking about like secret sin here.
DevinYeah. I think this one hits hard for a lot of people.
JonYeah.
DevinThey're living two lives, so they feel they feel hypocritical. Hypocritical, yeah. Things like pornography. You like quit the wrong one. Yeah. Uh secret addictions, bitterness, greed, affairs, hidden sin. I think that that's why they leave. When in reality, that's literally what the church needs to be welcoming.
JonPeople love darkness because their deeds are evil.
DevinYeah. I think for them, church becomes uncomfortable, and rather than than repent, they just disappear. It's the easy route. And it was actually John 3 that you just quoted. John three says people love darkness because their deeds are evil. They love to bask in the ambient, so to speak.
JonWell, it's the it's the easy thing to do. Yeah. To keep doing what you're already doing. Comfort. Yeah. Uh number five here.
Pride That Rejects Community
JonMen quit because pride says I don't need it.
DevinThis is one of my favorites. I had a guy tell me this one.
JonAnd with this one, we're not really talking about faith in particular. It's more of like, I don't need to go to church.
DevinBecause yeah, I don't need to go to church because I can worship one of one of and I had that I had a guy tell me this. He said, I can worship God wherever I am. I said, Yeah, that's true, brother. You're technically not wrong. He said, I can worship God on his actual words, I can worship God on the golf course. You're absolutely right, bud. You can. But are you? But I'm not entirely sure that God that you're worshiping the Lord went on 17 out of 18 holes, you screaming, yell more profanity is that would make the cast of Jersey swore blush.
JonYeah.
DevinYou know what I'm saying? Because you can't hit the ball straight.
JonYeah, I I've heard I've heard a lot. Like, I don't, I don't need, I don't need to go to church. I don't need community. I don't need like-minded people in my life because then they be so then basically those people get to become lord of their own lives. Well, no, they're saying they can still they can still worship God and not have that community. They can just watch church on TV at their earliest convenience, right?
DevinNow, I'll say this having we've having the fool out of that.
JonHaving a recorded, a recorded version of church is phenomenal when you when you don't really have much of another choice, right? But that's not that should not it's not your primary man.
DevinWe've abused the fool out of that, and that really came so so why did churches start recording? They're they did it back during COVID. A lot of them didn't. A lot of them didn't some were doing it before. The problem is now it's I almost egged out too late last night. I should probably just stay home. I'm just gonna watch from home. I'm tired, I've had a long week. Yep. Glad Jesus didn't say that when everybody needed to go to the cross. I know, right? He's like, you know what, God, not this week, man. Listen, they kind of beat the stew out of me last week. If I could have another day or two or ten. I'm gonna go take a nap. I'm gonna go take a nap. Right. Uh one of my other I mean I mean, they say I don't need the organized religion. Uh they use the pri they hide behind privacy. They they'll say things like, My relationship with God is private. Um, except that's literally a direct contradiction of scripture.
JonI've never heard that.
DevinNo, I've had people point eight people tell me that.
JonSame reason it's the same reason let me clarify the part that I've never heard. I've never heard someone say that my relationship with God is private.
DevinNo, well, well, because what they'll say is that's personal.
JonYeah.
DevinAnd the reality is, um, no, that's literally a direct compradic contradiction of the Hebrews 10 24. Do not give up meeting together.
unknownYeah.
DevinIt's literally a direct contradiction to it. Biblically speaking, no Christian matures alone.
JonNo, you won't.
DevinYou will never reach. I heard it put this way um by the CEO of a company. I can't remember the name of the company, so that's why I'm saying it that way. Um he he said, you will never reach the best version of yourself by yourself. Simply put, you'll never reach the best version of yourself by yourself. And here's the thing the New Testament actually assumes believers live in community.
JonYou you have to. Like, I mean, there's the teamwork makes the dream work, but yeah, you know, it's the the isol the isolation will a hundred percent uh lead you away from faith before it does anything. If you really believe that you don't need community, then you seriously take a deep, take a long hard look and see it I'd I challenge you to convince me that that's true. Because it's it it doesn't it doesn't work. Satan is literally using that to pull you away from the faith.
DevinExactly, because we actually see numerous times in scripture where the New Testament assumes believers live in community. Think about it this way: nearly every one-another command literally requires other believers. Yeah. So when you when people hide behind things like uh my relationship with God is private or that's personal, um, I I just simply ask them, okay, so how do you how do you explain this text then where it talks about in Hebrews about not giving up meeting together? So because because the reality of this, people choose to believe certain parts of scripture.
JonOh yeah, that's what's it to me. And the problem to make it read whoever they want.
DevinThat is literally never something that that God even hints at in scripture. We either believe it or we don't. And you can't pick you can't cherry pick which which parts you like.
JonYeah, it's it's very I believe I said this last week, it's very black and white. Yeah if you're following Jesus, you do it 100% all the way through. All you you you accept, believe, and obey everything in the Bible. You can't you can't do some and not the others. Either you're doing it or you're not. Yeah. You again, you can't you can't keep all you can't keep nine commandments and be like, well, I kept 90% of them. Like, nope, you kept you didn't keep the ten commandments.
DevinYeah, you didn't keep the ten, you kept the nine. And that's not that's not in scripture.
JonThat's a fail. Yep. It's A plus or nothing.
DevinExactly.
JonThank you. That being said, nobody's professor's nobody's perfect. Remember, I'm not gonna sit here and say you have to be perfect.
DevinBut what you're what you're literally getting at in scripture, it talks about not being lukewarm.
JonYes.
DevinAll right, this next one. This is the one I you're gonna have to reign me in here and make sure I don't get on too big of a tangent. All right. But this is the one that whenever whenever I was uh praying and and and typing this up, I felt myself physically getting angry.
Lesser Kingdoms That Take Sundays
DevinMen quit because they're pursuing lesser kingdoms.
JonAnd that's quite literally just idolatry. Like uh things that occupy your thoughts or things that you'd rather be doing, like playing golf or out on the boat, fishing, or whatever it is people do on boats. I don't know, whatever hobbies you have, travel baseball or softball or whatever. Um and those those things in and of themselves aren't inherently bad. No. But and that's not what I'm saying. I heard I heard someone say the other day that when he was a kid, his his parents let him they they were f I don't know that they were super rich or whatever, right? But they had they were well enough off that whatever sport he wanted to try, whatever thing he wanted to try, they were able to allow him to do that. At one point, he wanted to do uh motocross. He wanted to ride dirt bikes. Like, what boy doesn't want to ride dirt bikes, right? But at the time, and this was you know 20 years ago, at the time, all sports were not on Sundays. Like you weren't you weren't playing baseball on Sunday back in the 90s, right? Early 2000s, like real early 2000s. But all of the motocross races were on Sundays. So he got told no, because we go to church on Sundays.
DevinExactly. Uh and but but the part that got me with the the kingdoms that occupy your thoughts, uh, or that I'm sorry, the kingdoms that they're pursuing, things like sports, like you said, uh their career. I gotta work, honey. Uh politics.
JonI think the I think the key here is making sure that you don't put these things in front of following the Lord.
DevinRight. So like you said, the hobbies, kids' travel ball, financial success, all those type things. Here's the thing that that parents need to know and understand. Did you know that any that that less than 11%, 11% of kids who are in high school and play travel ball receive a Division I scholarship full ride. Less than 11%. Do you know how many go pro? Probably one. Less than one percent.
JonYeah, there was oh. So here's the thing. There so for um baseball, for instance, there's there's a there's a there's a there's a magic number of games that you need to have played in your life before you make it to the big leagues, which a very, very small percentage of people do anyway. The vast majority of those games are played in high school and college. Yeah. Like the little league games, yeah, they matter because you need to know how to play when you get there, but like it's not and here's the thing that I here's what I'm trying to say.
DevinI'm not saying travel balls the i i is evil and death and it should never be done. Yeah, no. I'm simply saying I heard a pastor, uh teaching pastor put it this way. He said, My kids play every single sport they want, but their coach understands from the start, my kid will not play on Sundays. We will be in church. Yeah. Period.
unknownYeah.
DevinPoint blank in the period. Here's the thing little Johnny is not gonna not get his scholarship because he played because he did not play on Sunday mornings.
JonYeah, and it's like I know I'm sorry, go ahead.
DevinNo, you're good. I used to serve on staff at a church that the pastor's kids, I'll never forget my jaw just absolutely hit the floor whenever I heard this. But one of the pastor's kids was not there for the majority of Sunday mornings, like consecutively. And I remember I went to his dad and I was like, hey, where's where's where's little Johnny been? His dad looks me dead in the face. Oh yeah, basketball. I said, The what? Like you're you're one of the pastors of a church and your kid has basketball, and you're telling your kid to go play basketball instead of being at church on Sunday morning. Wait a minute.
JonYeah, and I wanna I want to differentiate something here real quick. Yes, by doing that, you're you're either teaching your kids that it's okay to miss church and go do those things, or it and the opposite, it's not okay to miss church to go do those things. More importantly, you're teaching them that it is or isn't okay to put those things in front of God. And it it's not, it's not, yes, we need to attend church. We've already we've we've been over that a billion times in the last 10 minutes, but the the the point is you're quite literally teaching your children that it is okay to put something else in front of God, and it is not.
DevinRight. You're actively teaching your kid it's perfectly okay that hey, you didn't feel like going to church today because or or you didn't go to church today because you have basketball. You're literally teaching them in the future, and they're gonna teach their kids, and they're gonna teach their kids that these things come before the Lord. What that what that pastor, and that's where I just I lost so much respect, was what that pastor was saying. Basketball's more important than the Lord. Point blank in the period. That right, Roger. And here's the thing, I'm sure if I were to ask him that, he would have a reason. And that's cool. Guess what? His son never never got a full ride scholarship, he got a partial scholarship to a division three where he played for one year. So all those Sundays were missed. All that faith advancement, all that being with your people, all that spiritual growth was missed for what? I told you, man, I felt myself getting physically like ticked off whenever I was typing.
JonAnd number seven.
Why Serving Keeps You Planted
JonMen quit because they were never serving.
DevinYeah.
JonI think serving others in some capacity, whether that's a quote unquote serve team at church or serving at a homeless, I don't know, hand it handing out food to at a food drive or something. Donating your time for the betterment of other people in some way is one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.
DevinYeah. Because you're working a part of something you're or you're being a part of something that's bigger than yourself.
JonRight.
DevinRight. Fun fact, life's not about us. Really? Here's the thing. They they when people when people don't serve, they don't invest. And I'm not talking about uh investing money. I'm talking about investing of your time. Okay. When you're invested in something, you fight for it. When I'm invested in my house, right? I'm invested in my business. If somebody comes after that, I'm gonna fight for it. Right? When you're invested in something, you fight for it. When you're consuming something, you just simply find another place to go. Consumers will leave, but the builders, the building stays. And here's the problem Jesus never called us to consume the church. He called us to be the church. We be the church when we serve.
JonYeah. We we are the church for other people.
DevinThe healthiest men are not asking things like, what can I get out of this? The healthiest men they're asking, how can I serve? Now I will say, um How can I help someone else get something out of this? How can I be a part of something that's bigger than myself? And and here's and here's the truth. Um, part of part of that same uh staff that I was on uh at that church, uh, because I will say this there's people have to be led for that, right? There has to be a desire uh to a degree for them to serve. But that church that I was a part of, they would, I I mean, if it was your first Sunday, dude, they were plucking you in somewhere. If you even seemed like you had an outgoing personality, Dorgator. Like, I I kid you not, man. It was it was truthfully one of those things like God, can we just let them breathe for a second? Like, so churches can be a little um pushy in that in that area. Um, but here's uh I guess my my point there is uh serving is is healthy, serving is necessary. Uh, it needs to be done. Um, but make sure that you're on a growth for that, on a track for that, on a path for surfing. Uh and and I think I think really what what this what serving does, like I said, it puts you a sort of part of something that's bigger than you. But what it does, I think it opens your eyes. It opens your heart. Yeah. So
How To Help Without Shaming
Devinto kind of put a bow on it, there's like there's a there's a hard question here that I think men uh or that we need to we need to ask ourselves is is what's what's what's wrong in the hearts of men when men are leaving and walking away.
JonIf you're listening to this, look at look at yourself. Don't don't sit here and say, well, what's wrong with all these other people? No. Look at yourself. It's the same thing I'm gonna do every day for the rest of my life. Maybe Devin will, I don't know. But that was supposed to be a joke. It was it was not a good one. Anyway, what look at look at yourself. What's wrong in my heart? Maybe your walk with the Lord is phenomenal. Maybe maybe there's I can't you it'll never be perfect, but maybe everything for the most part is going pretty great.
DevinAwesome, good for you, man.
JonHowever, comma, you're not perfect, therefore it's not perfect, therefore it could be better. How could it be better? And I think when we do see other people struggling with this, we have to we have to approach it, approach it correctly. When we see people drifting away, or we're just you're just trying to get somebody to come to church. Like, like I said earlier at the beginning, they know God exists, they they believe that He exists to some extent, right? They're not atheists. You're trying to get them to come to church, whatever, whatever that case is. There you want them on this side of the line, and they're on this side of the line for one reason or another, whether they've crossed the line before or not. You have to approach it the correct way. Because if you just start barking at them, like, hey, you better get back on this side of the line or you're going to hell. Like, that's not gonna work.
DevinGo to church if the devil will get you.
JonI mean, there's a whole billboard right on 65. It really is.
DevinBut but don't shame them. You're right. We cannot shame them. Uh I I think, truthfully, here's uh a great way to to summarize that. If you've walked away, you need to know this. This is not for the people. What I'm fixing to say, this is not for the people um who are in leadership and things like that. This is for those that are listening that have maybe walked away. Because I'm not here. Well, we're not here to shame you for whatever reason that you've walked away from your faith or whatever like that. We're not here to shame you for that. What we're doing is simply trying to bring alerts and awareness to other people who because everybody knows somebody who's walked away. Okay. But if you're that person, that's you and you walked away from the faith. You have to understand Jesus isn't standing there with crossed arms waiting to just say, I told you so. He's calling you to return. Not because he needs another seat filled on a Sunday morning, but because he loves you. He literally purchased his church with his own blood. Yeah. And he intends for his people to grow together.
JonRight. And we have we absolutely have to grow together in community. Cannot be done by yourself. The best the best thing you can do for if if there is someone that you see drifting, has drifted, whatever. Don't shame them. Um the best thing. Wrap your arms around the man is pray for them.
DevinYeah, give them a show, power them. Absolutely invite them.
JonAbsolutely invite them to church. Absolutely do not cram anything down their throat. No. Pray for them. Love them. Treat them like Jesus would treat them.
DevinYeah. And they'll sit there whenever things go bad, and you're standing there holier than now on your spiritual high horse going, when would you think was gonna happen? Yeah. You gotta love him, man. It's not again, what like I just said, it's not because he needs another seat filled on Sunday. It's because he loves you. The pro the the thing is, is is the church doesn't need us. We need the church.
JonI mean, the young The Church has been around since the book of Acts. Exactly. So I mean it's not going anywhere.
DevinYou know what's gonna happen if I literally never show up to cultivate church again? They're gonna be just freaking fine. You know why? Because it does it doesn't need me.
JonWell, I wasn't referring to the no, I'm not sure if you're not sure.
DevinI'm just saying, like, I'm not saying I know you were referring to the early church, but I was referring to the church as a people, as followers of God. Yes. And and and see, that's the thing, is I think more people have that not Mormons. Just come out and say it. Uh, but but I think I think a lot of people have a have a very skewed version of what the church is. Um their version is is four walls, some microphones, and a guy who stands up and yells at them. And the reality is that's just not true. We are the church, we are called to be the church. And for the uncommon man, he doesn't quit when church gets difficult, when spiritual life happens, when the spiritual arrows start to puncture the armor. He doesn't walk away when people disappoint him, he doesn't let comfort, pride, or even a hidden sin pull him into isolation. The uncommon man plants himself in God's house. He serves faithfully, he leads courageously, and he finishes his race. I
Prayer And Final Charge
Devinwant to pray for you guys. Father, I love you. God, thank you so much for this platform. God, mine and John's prayer is that the people listening hear your words. They hear your voice. They see and they feel your presence wherever they are. Lord, I pray for every person listening to this under the sound of my voice, God, that spiritual surgery would be performed for those that have walked away. God, that you would call your sons and your daughters back to know and to see how much you love them. How you literally gave your life for the pic for the church, for them. God, I pray that we we never choose isolation. We never we never walk down the path of isolation. We walk down the path of community and in relationship to you. It's in Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
JonThanks for listening. Remember to like, share, and subscribe. If you know someone who would enjoy this, please pass it along. You can follow us on Instagram at uncommon.man or reach out at theuncommonman.com. Keep pursuing excellence and above all, keep pursuing practice.